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When God Searches Us

How God is lovingly familiar with our words and deeds

Today I was a bit blue. I am down to the wire on a few things and they seem to be getting the best of me.

I participated in my first Twitter pitch party (#DVpit) for the last two days, posting about three teasers for each of my manuscripts in hopes that editors or agents would be interested. I’ve never done this before, but I have observed several events taking place over time. I hadn’t known these pitch parties existed—what a novel idea. So I tried it, confident that this type of thing would be a perfect fit to my introversion—write a pitch in a limited amount of space without fumbling, and release it into the ether. That was all I needed to do, and wait.

It was fun—I discovered a few new writer and bookish types and learned a great deal more about the industry, how it evolved, how late I seem to be showing up for things such as this. How oppressive it could be.

And out of many, only two bore fruit over those two events.

All this in the middle of tending to my mother’s medical emergency.

All this in the middle of the week in which I need to prepare to give a study to my church’s ladies group and daughters.

All this in the middle of my overcommitting to projects, groups, activities that I thought I could juggle, that would reap great rewards, that I would be able to contribute to, but have failed.

All this while battling a head cold I’ve avoided to medicate.

O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. -Psalm 139:1-4

All this in the middle of preparing my teenage son for a few nights in the wilderness where he and some friends will learn to walk alone with God, with the barest of essentials, with degrees of separation from civilization, with a heart, a mind, and a soul ready and willing to try what it’s like to follow Him without parental supervision.

I never had these opportunities, and not many teen boys do presently, but we’re glad my son can trust God to sustain him. He’s trained and prepared for this survival weekend, and I trust God will search him, know him, and understand his thoughts. I trust, as the Psalm says, that God is acquainted with all his ways.

God even knows the words in our tongue, and despite the many voices that rise up daily, we can trust that the Lord hears our voice. He knows when and why not, He knows if at all any of our plans will succeed. He directs the path we are on and makes it possible to do anything at all. I trust in Him with my talents as he put me to steward over them. I trust that no matter the outcome with my manuscripts, I will keep searching for that nugget in the water, that sediment in the pan of gold that the Lord has put into place. And if I never find it, I’ll know that it was not mine to have.

What have you been searching for lately?


God knows us well, and he searches us. He knows our words and deeds and we can respond with utmost devotion to Him. What do you search for? Click to read full post.

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6 comments

  • Kate Findley October 20, 2018   Reply →

    Lovely post! I can definitely relate to many of these sentiments. As a writer, it’s a lonely road and there’s many ups and downs. I just have to stay focused on the positive and keep my larger purpose in mind and not get so bogged down in the little things (page views, analytics, etc.).

    • Erendira Ramirez-Ortega October 21, 2018   Reply →

      Thank you, Kate. It is a lonely road…

  • Jeanne Takenaka October 23, 2018   Reply →

    Erendira, I know those seasons. I’ve kind of been living one too. Sometimes I overcommit to activities and end up breaking my word because I just can’t do it all. It’s always humbling to work through that.

    I’ve been searching for more time. To spend with Jesus. To walk. To write. And to just be still.

    I enjoyed hearing about the Twitter pitch parties. I haven’t tried one yet, but I’m curious about them. We truly never know what will pique an agent or editor’s attention. Like you, I know the end result for the stories I write, the blogs I write are in His hands. The best place for them.

    • Erendira Ramirez-Ortega October 23, 2018   Reply →

      Indeed my friend. We are in His hands and I’m right there with you as we slow down and be still…

  • Mary Geisen October 25, 2018   Reply →

    Thank you for these beautiful thoughts. Life doesn’t come easy, but with God we are able to persevere through challenges. I am so glad to have you linking up at #TellHisStory. I pray God provides open doors for your manuscripts.

    • Erendira Ramirez-Ortega October 25, 2018   Reply →

      Thank you, Mary, for your kind words. I’m glad we have the Lord to see us through the valleys and the moments of doubt that may come…and they will come!

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