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Finding Our Way Through Conversations We’re Expected to Have

Be still, and know that I am God.

Psalms 46:10

When We’re Stuck Keeping Our Words to Ourselves

It is always a risk to bear the cross of Christ, to carry it through the procession of family dissonance. I find myself stuck in this cycle of defending the faith, my Biblical worldview considering what is happening in the culture, as I’m surrounded by extended family or perusing conversations online.

This past month, I had to bring myself to break away from expectations that weigh upon my shoulders while questioning my intentions for pursuing or dabbling in potential areas of risk in which a measured response is warranted, in which prayer and supplication are necessary.

It’s vague, I know, this conversation that so many of us are having. It’s even tiresome, I would risk saying. We have a pulse on what Christian writers are saying about the topic of ethnic harmony and unity within the church. The conversation abounds in the fringes and in the growing circles of influence nowadays.

But I need to ask myself: what can I add to what Christ has already said?

Nothing. And I’m stuck there, wanting to say something. But I hold my words.

I cannot always find my way out of the conversation I am expected to have, so I lean on the wisdom of Proverbs 9 verses 7-8:


He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot. Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.


Turning down opportunities

Many times, I want to bury my writing in a pit. The pressure to perform is fierce.

Remember when Moses was chosen to be the instrument that would deliver God’s people from bondage? He was in front of the burning bush when he was told to go forth. He was commanded, not asked, to perform. To act. To deliver.

Recently, I expressed my thoughts to a conference coordinator who suggested I submit a proposal for a break out session at a Christian Writers’ Conference. But I don’t want to talk about race and ethnicity, I wrote. And she graciously said it wasn’t necessary to talk about that. I recommended other topics of general interest because after all, aren’t we trying to deviate from the tropes of what has been the expectation for years now?

I don’t want to broach subjects that are too uncomfortable for many to have in person. I am not a therapist, I may lack empathy, I may say more than I need to, I may be alone, again. I think I’d rather learn about something I didn’t learn before. I am sure people don’t care what people do, as we are all busy about and doers of all sorts of things. We occupy our time making trips around our feelings, throwing food at them sometimes, making plans for our futures, applauding our successes, but what do we really want to know about people? We don’t need to be stuck talking endlessly about what we do, but wouldn’t it be more beneficial to hear about what we’ve experienced lately outside of idleness and superficiality, where our inner interlocutor is rich with unpredictability?


We have a pulse on what Christian writers are saying about the topic of ethnic harmony and unity within the church. The conversation abounds in the fringes and in the growing circles of influence nowadays. What can I add to what Christ has already said? Nothing. Click to read full post.

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Blog Comments

I usually hold my words due to my history of deafness. Your words in the first portion of this post/article struck a chord with me even if it’s only through commonality.

Wow, thank you, Lee Ann, for your words here. I appreciate you stopping by to comment.

Hello Erendira,
thank you for this reflection on Stuck. I always find it interesting to see what comes forth from each of us when given the same prompt, and yet led in such different directions. I hear your heart here friend. Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you, Janel.

Erendira, there are definitely times for staying quiet. Your reference to Proverbs 9:7-8 are a good reminder to gauge each conversation and decide what needs to be said/withheld.

As these conversations take place, I pray I will have discernment and empathy to know how to respond in each situation. And yes, beyond having conversations, listening to others is essential. Taking action, when called for, speaks much more loudly than conversations.

You’ve given me much to think about. Thank you for sharing a bit of your heart here.

Thank you, Jeanne, for stopping by. So thankful for your insightful response. I know the Proverbs has definitely made me more aware of how to best decide when to speak…and when not to.

Hi Erendira,

Welcome to #MomentsofHope! I love meeting new friends and having the opportunity to widen my heart and perspective through the voices of others. That being said, your words truly resonate with me. I see so many people weighing in on the big topics – which isn’t necessarily bad. However, in this digital age, it is something as a society and as a people we must learn to navigate in a healthy way. Our words matter – so casting them out left and right carelessly isn’t what God intends for us. Sometimes, His words that tell us to “be still” is the best place we can be ♥

Blessings and smiles,

Hi Lori, so glad you stopped by to comment. Thank you for stating this truth: our words matter. I’ve found myself being still and intentionally keeping myself out of the loop on many things…if it doesn’t edify, I don’t need to invest my energy and strength there. And if I attempt to offer biblical truth and it is rejected, I cannot do much else. It’s so easy to reduce our input and be choosy with our output when we think about it this way.

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